Route 66

Route 66, America's Highway, the Mother Road; call it what you will but it is undoubtedly one of the most iconic journeys you can undertake in the States and probably the world. This trip has evolved over the years that we've been planning it but one constant has been a desire to drive route 66, preferably in an old convertible. Personally I'd imagined driving along at a steady 55 in the blazing sun, deserted road stretching out in front of me as far as the eye can see and disappearing into the arid mountain range ahead. That's the romantic perspective of route 66. There are a multitude of practicalities to negotiate before you reach that utopia but you don't consider any dirge when you're planning a trip of this magnitude. Your mind's eye sees the Empire State building, not queuing to get up it; the beauty of Miami South Beach, not the alarmingly priced room rates; the thrill of arriving in one of the world's great cities, not that you spent 20 hours on a stinking, uncomfortable and probably late bus to get there. Having been seriously let down by Michael in the Fort Worth Enterprise office I decided that we should go to Dallas/Fort Worth airport and try our luck there. Kerry was a bit nervous about this as her feisty, adventurous and gung-ho persona is tempered by her deep-seated need to have a plan. I reassured her but I knew she was a little uncomfortable about putting her faith in me so the pressure was on to deliver. Just getting to the airport was a mission. It took a bus, a train and then 3 more buses, by which time what little patience Kerry started out with was now about as apparent as charisma at a Train spotters convention. Luckily we met an engaging young fellow from Nashville on bus number 2 who was in Dallas for an interview and was fascinated by our trip which took her mind off things a little. All the car hire offices are rather conveniently in one place in USA airports and we elected to try Enterprise first on the basis that I might get a discount for my FirstGroup connections. There were 2 lines, one for business customers and one for Plebeians and 3 positions, one of which was dedicated to business customers. Business customers, possibly correctly, we're taking priority and even when one of the other two agents were free they were calling business customers forward. After 10 minutes or so we were finally at the head of our queue and watched with increasing frustration as besuited and far more well-heeled people than us strolled up and were ushered in before us. My fuse is relatively short in such situations and I turned to Kerry and said that if one more person gets in ahead of us then Enterprise can shove it and they may see the unsavoury "meltdown" side of me. Of course, some johnny-come-lately swanned in when it was our turn at which point I summoned up my most intense glare for the agent and flounced out of there. In retrospect I was probably as brooding and menacing as Julian Clary hitting Liberace with a feather duster but I felt I was making my point. Plus, perhaps I'm finally learning that there's nothing to be gained by going ape-shit in such situations. I must remember that as we head south and the frustrations will no doubt intensify. So, no joy so far but next door at Thrifty the lovely young lady there could offer us a Ford for a reasonable price so I felt we were making progress at last, though one look at Kerry's face suggested otherwise. It was the look I might have expected had I abluted in her favourite handbag. (Apologies to those of you with a more sensitive disposition for this reference only it's amazing how much significance latrines and movements take on when travelling meaning it's at the forefront of my mind. You don't think about it at home, you just get up from your seat at 1400 hours each day and spend 20 minutes in familiar surroundings. It's routine. When moving around each day and eating at a variety of outlets of varying quality it's altogether more of an issue. Where? When? Satisfactory or otherwise? Etc) We moved on to Hertz and they could offer us the car if our dreams, a Dodge Charger, but it would cost us. $2800 to be precise, about $2k more than I wanted to pay for a 6 day rental. That Kerry was trying to tell me it perhaps wasn't THAT much told me how much this all meant to her and we were now at last chance saloon, Advantage rentals, tucked away in the corner with a hopeful "cars available" sign up. The upshot of our half hour transaction was that we secured a car beyond our dreams. A 2012 Chevy Camaro, 6.2 litre V8, cabrio, automatic, 0-60 quicker than something off a shovel (there I go again) and meaner looking than Clint Eastwood in A Fistful of Dollars. We excitedly wheeled our cases to the parking lot to get going and spent half an hour working her out: power hood - check, petrol cap and type of fuel - check, mirrors - check, cases in the boot - errrrrr, they don't fit!!! So it was I very gingerly exited DFW airport in a supercar with 2 backpacks strapped into the rear seats, a victory for dream-fulfilment over practicality. As we left the airport the guy on the barrier said "oh, you gowne hayve sum furn in thayt" though to be honest I was more focused on getting out of the city and on the open road to Oklahoma, our destination for the night and the start of our route 66 journey. We had a sat nav but it was inaudible above the turbulence so we made a couple of wrong turns before finding our stride. About 4 hours and 250 miles later we were there and checked into a motel on the outskirts, the car enabling us to take advantage of cheap rooms and cheap diners. I had to keep looking at the car to convince myself it was ours for a few days. I've been used to a VW camper that was more 'stupour' than 'super' and my primary mode of transport for the past year has been a bicycle. It felt surreal to be in charge of such a beast. Next day we were off straight after breakfast with the intention of reaching Amarillo by 6 ish. We planned on driving on as much of the old route 66 as possible. Some if it no longer exists, much of it has been paved over by the Interstate-40 and some if it wends its way to complete dead ends in corn fields so you have to be something of an arch navigator to undertake this. It is not, as we had both first thought, simply a case of pointing the car west and enjoying the scenery. It was fantastic to be masters of our own destiny, stopping whenever we wanted and revelling in the freedom of being out of the city. We were now seeing the real USA, albeit one stuck in something of a time warp, almost a living museum. Our first point of interest was the 38 span pony truss bridge near Bridgeport followed by Lucille's gas station in Hydro, no longer operational but restored and with signage explaining its relevance. Lucille lived and worked here for 59 years until her death in 2000, virtually the entire time that the road was open. We passed 'ghost towns', settlements which simply died when the road was rerouted, wonderful buildings such as the "U Drop Inn" in Shamrock and more than one field full of 40s and 50s American cars just rusting away, heaven for two lovers of old cars. Late in the afternoon we visited the "Devils Rope Museum" the bizarre yet awe inspiring "tribute to barbed wire". You simply would not believe that such a subject matter could be of much interest yet the magnitude of the collection and the years spent putting it together for display in such a backwater as McLean TX deserves admiration. Our final port of call was a place called Conway, a ghost town where 5 VW beetles have been half buried in the ground and then graffitied. I was absolutely cream crackered next morning having driven 500 miles in 2 days. I'm not used to that as my annual mileage is down to about 1500-2000 nowadays. Today was a big day though, 380 miles or thereabouts taking in the Cadillac Ranch-8 upended Cadillacs half buried in the ground near Amarillo, the stupendously retro mid-point cafe at Adrian, the ghost town of Glenrio, Tucumcari and Santa Rosa, the latter two places being ultra cool route 66 heaven, awash with old motels, diners and more 50s to 70s cars than you could shake a stick at. Whilst we had crossed the great plains of Oklahoma and northern Texas yesterday, today saw a change in scenery to resemble 1000 western movies. We were largely alone on the open road and I discovered the cruise control setting on the Camaro making the driving a breeze. Friday seemed a real drag to me as we crossed the desert of New Mexico. There was little in the way of route 66 interest until 2/3 through the day when we came across the painted desert, an ancient and petrified forest, the wig-wam motel in Holbrook (yes, you can sleep in a wig-wam) and the Jack Rabbit Trading Post, one of the most iconic places on the road. This brought us to Flagstaff, gateway to the Grand Canyon and on Saturday we joined hordes of others to witness one of the wonders of the world. The sheer vastness, natural beauty and inspirational vista that is before you here makes you remember what a glorious planet this is. To cap this fabulous day we drove on to Kingman and our motel stopping en route in Williams, the very last town on route 66 to be bypassed by the I40 in 1984. Williams has retained all the kitsch charm of its heyday and was awash with Harley Davidsons and muscle cars as well as motels, retro petrol stations and coffee shops. Our final day with the car was originally to be spent driving to the grand canyon 'skywalk' where you can walk on a glass platform hundreds of feet above the canyon floor but investigations deemed that it was not only $85 each but also largely disappointing so we decided against that. Instead we visited the original London Bridge, now located in the swelteringly hot Lake Havasu city and the Hoover Dam which was just outside Boulder City where we stayed the night. And next morning that was that, time to say goodbye to both route 66 and the best car I've ever driven. I drove through Las Vegas to the airport, dropped the beast off and we prepared to have it large in the bars and casinos of Sin City. At least, as far as our $50 budget would allow!