The Sunshine State

To go travelling is to expose yourself to the extremes that life can offer. One day an extravagant high resulting in high fives and general cock-a-hoop ness, another day a moribund and abject excuse of an existence as you merely seek to get through whatever misery you have inflicted upon yourself through your folly. I was well aware of all this before we set off but we have graphically played this out over the past  5 or 6 days. We disembarked from our train at Miami at 1820 last Sunday (30 minutes earlier than advertised) and made for the Airways Inn and Suites, a  very welcome private room after 2 nights in dorms and one on the train. One would imagine that Miami station would be teeming with life, particularly around the excitement of one of only two long distance arrivals of the day. A thriving station concourse, shops and eateries, a shoe shine perhaps, ATM, taxi rank. How about none of these. For those with a modicum of knowledge of Britain's railways think Weston-super-Mare, only without the taxis, the one thing we wanted after our long journey. Ironic really that NYC and DC were positively awash with them and now we finally wanted one there wasn't one in sight. We waited along with the two hefty lasses of the cacophonous snoring and an elderly and deaf gent from Jacksonville who was flying to La Paz in Bolivia for work. Conversation with him was limited on account of his difficulty hearing but we did manage to strike an accord that we would share a taxi should one ever deign to show up. After 10 minutes or so one pulled up but on hearing that we wanted the airport the driver said he wasn't going that way and drove off! Another 20 or so exasperating minutes passed before we finally got our ride though I have no doubt we were ripped off, paying $19 for the 3 or 4 mile journey. Regardless of this it was good to be in our own space and the on-site sports bar provided us with a hearty feast of meatloaf and veg for a great price too. Next morning breakfast was served by the pool and all seemed well with the world. The hotel provided a shuttle to the airport bus station so we made use of that and caught the bus to Miami south beach on Monday morning, ooohing and aaaahing at the beautiful city as we  travelled through it. We were dropped off only a couple of blocks from our hotel and, having seen the room, quickly upped our stay from one to four nights. We'd originally only booked one thinking we'd probably head out to Key West ASAP but 5 minutes on south beach convinced us to hole up here for a while. The hotel was a joy. To you these features probably seem run of the mill but to us, trying to survive on a relatively meagre budget, it was magical to behold: comfy bed, thick pile carpet, kettle, fridge, hot shower, private toilet. Easily pleased is the traveller. It was baking hot, high 70s, so we went to the beach and spent the afternoon swimming, sunbathing and reading. At last, some relaxation after being on the hoof, not to mention the stresses and strains of our final weeks in Blighty. There's simply nothing like swimming in an azure, warm sea with powdery sand to dry off on. Feeling flushed with success we went out for dinner, Kerry resplendent in her eye-catching designer dress, opting for Peruvian food not least because of the 2 for 1 offer on sangria. Unfortunately 2 for 1 means something different in the US than it does back home. Here it means that each person gets 2 drinks for the price of 1 so what we thought would be a cheap drink ended up costing us twice as much as we thought, gutting when every dollar counts. This wouldn't be the only misunderstanding in Miami! Though a little burnt we spent Tuesday on the beach too but were much more careful to slap up with factor 15 than we perhaps were yesterday. Conscious of the pennies we thought we'd have a diner meal tonight but our good intentions merely descended into farce. Taking our seats in "Jerry's famous 24 hour diner" we quickly saw that food here was just as expensive as the restaurant from the previous evening. With it being a vast menu we decided to stay and just pick something cheap, Kerry going for salad nicoise and me "chili chicken with veg and potatoes". Our waiter was a slightly nasal version of Richard O'Brien's character in Rocky Horror and, my having requested raspberry iced tea, he apologised for its unavailability and brought unsweetened ice tea instead. I'd had this back at the airport and it is rank. It is basically cold tea with no sugar. I can't even abide hot tea with no sugar so this is an affront but, being a good old Brit who doesn't like to complain, I accepted it. When the food came Kerry's salad was missing 5 items from its menu description. 5. When she complained she was told the salad guy was off but he could arrange to put a boiled egg on the side if she wanted. She decided not and reordered saying "I'll just have the same as him", pointing at my plate. Meanwhile, in the melee, I hadn't realised that my chili chicken was accompanied not by potatoes and veg but by 3 plastic pots containing: grated cheese, a chopped boiled egg and some raw onion. We waited a few minutes for Kerry's meal but with Richard O'Brien the picture of inactivity we asked whether it would be long. "Would what be long? Oh, did you want some food"? Opined Richard! Needless to say we didn't tip after this disaster. Wednesday morning was spent on a frantic quest to organise our next few days. Would we visit the Everglades, go to Key West by hire car or bus, head to New Orleans next or hoochie coochie up the Florida coast? Decisions decisions. After seeing the cost of hiring a convertible Mustang leap from $77 online to $299 once we'd added in all taxes and insurances that ruled that out and we ultimately decided that we needed to crack on and get to New Orleans really but all this took time. We also had to find an affordable room in Key West which is no mean feat. With all this finally achieved we hit the beach again prior to another food based misunderstanding. For dinner tonight I ordered grilled fish and Kerry ordered "the same". When our meals arrived we were amazed how small it was. Seemingly 1 portion of rice, 3 boiled potatoes and 2 portions of child sized fish. What of these mammoth portions everyone told us about before we came? Nevertheless we tucked in and it was delicious but the more we ate the more we couldn't help but think we might just have one meal and not two. Eventually we asked the waitress who was horrified to realise we had wanted two meals because sure enough, we had just the one. It seems then that "I'll have the same" means "I'll eat off that grey haired fellas plate for we only want one meal to share (how else do you think I can get into this dress?)". Lesson learnt! On Thursday we took a trip to the Everglades with a tour company and fulfilled one of Kerry's ambitions to ride an airboat. It was great fun and another thing ticked off the bucket list, though a new one has been added- Kerry now wants to pilot an airboat! We took the opportunity to eat some 'gator (looks like chicken nuggets, taste like chewy chicken nuggets) and then sat in some shade while we waited for the rest of our bus load to get themselves together. During this interlude I both admired the cut of our sextuagenarian drivers' jib what with his 'gator skin boots, linen suit and slicked back long grey hair and also was defecated on by a blackbird. Back in Miami we hit the beach for what would be the final time and took some great pics of each other in the surf. Next morning it was time to pack up and leave for Key West and I awoke with the blues, perhaps melancholy at leaving our beautiful room and the sanctuary of South Beach, but also maybe I had some inkling of the day that lay ahead. Kerry, perennially vexated at not being able to shut her pack, left her flattering but oh so impractical Karen Millen dress for our chamber maid, along with a note in Spanish saying she hoped it fit her. It was a shame to just give it away but bringing it was akin to my having brought stilts and a top hat so it had to be jettisoned. After brekkie we sauntered round to what we hoped was the bus stop for the  airport and, as we were unsure I thought I'd ask one of my fellow bus stop-ees for reassurance. It was a toss-up between a Hispanic lady, a teenage boy and a large and unfriendly looking chap who was sporting chin furniture of about 3 inches in length whilst devoid of 'tache and mutton chops. You can picture it? One of those weirdy beardy types who don't go for the full set. I opted to approach him but even as I did so I sensed it was the wrong move but that didn't prepare me for his response to my polite question: "Excuse me, is this the right stop for he airport bus?" "Get out of my fucking face or I'll fucking kill you" came his unblinking response. Enough said! I retreated and asked the driver of the next bus that pulled up instead. The trip to Key West was amazing. That there is a road the 100 odd miles from the mainland through the Keys is incredible in itself but to travel on it is a fantastic experience. The route actually started out as a railway line and was the vision of one Henry Flagler, a tycoon in league with John D Rockefeller and the man responsible for creating Miami as a noteworthy town back in the 1880s by way of his building the railway down from Orlando. Miami was going to be called "Flagler" but he turned the honour down and insisted it was named after the native Indian name for the area: Mai-a-mi. I digress. Flagler saw money in providing a rail route from the mainland to what was then the biggest city in Florida and nearest US enclave to the recently opened Panama canal and ploughed $50m into building it. It only lasted about 20 years as successive hurricanes damaged it sufficiently to render it dangerous to use and the US government bought it and turned it into a road. After 4.5 hours we were in Key West and, having waited the best part of an hour at the airport for a local bus into town with a guy dressed in a pinstripe suit, denim shirt with the arms ripped off, ponytail and flip flops, we were finally on our way to our hostel. As the bus pulled in and we boarded I spied a likely place to park my derrière but was quickly put off it by the prone and lolling figure I would have to sit next to. Uncannily this guy was also sporting a 3 inch chin beard without 'tache and as we sped downtown he proceeded to sit up, open his eyes and then belch sufficiently violently to produce visible bile at the corner of his mouth. A second or two later he was fully retching and a horrified bus load watched him bowk his guts up, down his shirt, onto the floor and onto the vacant seat next to him. We all groaned in unison with each disgusting new emission. It was truly revolting and the stench on that bus was truly appalling. To compound matters he then stood up, only for his trousers to begin to fall to reveal silver knee length boxers. He managed to retrieve that situation but as he was ejected from the bus and began tottering away his strides gave way to gravity again and this time remained around his ankles a la Kenneth Williams in Carry on Abroad. 'Welcome to Key West' said the guy on the bus. Indeed! The days horrors weren't yet over because our hostel was nothing less than a hovel barely fit for human habitation. I've stopped in a few seedy joints in my time and Kerry has been around a bit but we've never seen anything like this. It resembled a prison cell, that's the best way I can describe it. This sucked the life out of us and got us off on completely the wrong foot with KW but to its credit it soon won me over with its pretty buildings, tropical vibe and laid-back inhabitants. I'm so impressed I'm already formulating plans to return. There's certainly a gap in the market for someone to open a decent hostel and I think someone could do a lot worse than wind up here. Not sure how quickly I'd get bored cycling the 12 flat miles around the island's circumference though! After a fabulous 3 days here we're now off again, back to Miami before embarking on the next significant leg - to New Orleans by bus, a 20 hour journey that will take place whilst Man City play Man Utd. Some bad planning if ever there was any!

Easy as DC eh?

We're a week in now so are starting to get a feel for the States and are generally finding our feet. It's a whole new mindset to achieve; to remember that we're not due to go home after a week or two meaning we can slow it down, take our time, soak it all up. Generally when I travel I cram so much in as to be almost untrue. An example of this would be our week in Sharm-el-Sheikh in January 2009. We had one night in our resort bed before catching the bus to Cairo next morning, had a couple of days there before getting the overnight train to Luxor, rickety old bus across the Eastern Arabian desert to Hurghada and catamaran back to Sharm. Insane to some but exhilarating to me. However, we have to roll differently now or else we'll keel over from exhaustion. In the first week we've seen and done an awful lot. We bought a 48 hour tour bus pass for NYC which enabled us to make all 4 separate loops of the city, including Brooklyn. It was fantastic value for money at $49 each, especially as their "hop on hop off" nature enabled us to use the buses as taxis to get around the city. Ok, it's tiresome hearing the same spiel time after time but a free ride is a free ride and our money has to go a long way. Kerry is the perfect travelling partner in that respect; it takes a certain calibre of lady to agree to save even the tiniest amount of money at every opportunity, and not whinny about going shopping even once. Some of the architecture in NYC is truly gob-smacking. My personal favourites are the Chrysler building and the Empire State building, the latter of which we paid to go up and admire the tremendous 360* view of Manhattan and beyond. Though these two are beautiful they are the tip of the iceberg. At every turn there is something to make your jaw drop and if you saw any one of probably 75% of the buildings in Manhattan in isolation they would be big draws in their own right. I'm waxing lyrical about NYC because I think it might just be the greatest city I have been to on the planet. We had a stroke of luck with our departure from New York as the bus stop was only 5 minutes away from our gaff. This was a result because our packs are cumbersome and unwieldy and the subway is not particularly easy to negotiate with a humungous bag in tow. We caught the bus to Washington DC at 10am on Thursday, a bargain at just $20 for the 4.5 hour journey through Philadelphia and Baltimore. It was largely uneventful on the bus, save for the guy opposite us placing his large coke in the luggage locker above his head and immediately knocking it over and spilling the whole lot. Everyone on that side of the bus was treated to a slow drip of coke onto them and their effects which, from the comfort of our side, was the epitome of schadenfreude. In DC it was scorching hot as we walked the half mile or so to the hostel we'd booked for 2 nights. "10 bed sex segregated dorms?" I hear you cry. Well, it's a gamble I know. I've stayed in hostels before where the cacophonous snoring of one individual had the whole room up and griping, another where the whiff of someone's feet was enough to tranquillise an elephant and my last such foray into hosteldom, in Inverness with my mate Nick whilst cycling to John o' Groats, was notable for the extraordinary gent who insisted on talking to us whilst he expunged his previous evenings meal from his system. Yes, it's a lottery but this time I won. Comfortable bed and no snorers, all for $40 too. As it was only about 1600 we went out for a hike with our número uno mission to book ourselves on the train to Miami on Saturday night. "have you got your Amtrak priv card?" asked Kerry as we set off. "yes" said I and off we yomped the mile up the road, over a multitude of pedestrian crossings, all in the baking heat, to the station. Union station was fascinating. I love stations anyway, I love the life and the vibrancy, that people are on the move, going places, meeting people. To me they're a gateway to the unknown, you just have to hand over a wad of notes and you can go anywhere, something that appeals greatly to my psyche. We found the booking office and started to ask about Miami. I rooted around in my money belt and........ No Amtrak pass!!! Starving, we decided to eat at the station and had a tremendous buffet feast for less than $20 before walking back to the hostel and collecting my pass. Bless Kerry for not going apeshit at my ineptitude, in fact, a couple of hours later, we had a laugh about it. So, back to Union station, this time in a change of shoes as my trainers have pinched my little toes and given me agonising blisters. I had the option of wearing the shoes which make my heels bleed or my flip flops which rub my toes. I opted for the heel bleeders and soon enough we were at the booking office again, being told that tickets with Amtrak priv cards can only be purchased within 24 hours of your departure time, ie, 24 hours from then! A little miffed, we walked back to the hostel via Capitol, where congress meets, another stunning building sitting in beautiful surroundings. By now knackered we turned in at about 2130 and I was out like a light in my pretty comfortable top bunk and I didn't stir until 0630 next morning when 2 Indian chaps started rustling and banging about in the dorm. Friday was spent taking in all the sights of DC including the White House, the Watergate building, the Lincoln memorial (which overlooks the pool which Jenny wades through in Forrest Gump), FDR memorial, Potomac river and the Washington monument. DC is an amazingly historical place cram full of magnificent buildings. There's money here too. Serious money. Every other car is a shiny black Merc, baby Bentley or sinister looking Lincoln and if you're into bling alloy wheels then this is the place to come. Choppers periodically fly overhead and police sirens wail as either cops or the FBI speed by giving a strange air of paranoia about the place. It's a truly fitting capital city though. Clean, imposing, impressive and, after NYC, exceedingly low-rise. On Saturday we hit the museums. I'd read a lot about the Smithsonian institution before coming, not all positive, but it has to be said that the exhibits are world-class, if sometimes a little random. I'm not much of a museum goer to be honest. For some reason I begin to focus more on my aching feet and legs than what I'm trying to crane my neck to see. We saw some interesting Americana in the museum of national history: a tub-thumping and chest beating rendition of the national anthem whilst a group of people unfurled and then packed away a large American flag and then some play acting about the civil rights movement in the 60s. We'd seen a Globe Trekker program before we came about how the yanks like to act out history rather than the more staid way that us Brits do things so once we saw this developing we slinked away. And so to our journey to Miami, on which I'm typing this blog. For about $300 we have 2 coach seats on the "silver meteor", 1930 DC to Miami. We're about 20 hours in now and it's been a great trip. The seats are really comfortable, big and reclining with footrest and leg support. Mercifully there were no screaming brats in our carriage so we had a decent, if fitful, sleep. There's some simple but effective points to note that uk railways should really pick up on: even 20 hours in to the journey the toilet is clean, you can get suitcases in the overhead luggage racks, there are about 5 or 6 attentive and humorous guards (in Patrick Swayze voice: "ladies and gentlemen, this is Kissimee, now I don't want you ladies to be disappointed but if you do try to Kissimee then my wife sure is gonna be sore so please bear that in mind". Or how about "you may now leave the train to smoke but if you do not return when I say so then I surely will leave you behind in Orlando Florida". All in all it's been a great journey though I will admit that it's wearing a wee bit thin now. So, we're nearly in Miami with the rough aim being to stay a few days on Miami beach, hire a car and drive down Hwy 1 to Key West and maybe visit the Everglades before heading to New Orleans. How we're going to get there though is open to debate right now. I think it's around 24 hours overland and only a 2 hour flight so that may help us make our minds up.

New York

After a seemingly endless round of goodbye drinks, meals and emotional extractions from people and places we finally made our way to Exmouth station on Saturday lunchtime and got this show on the road. With the final decision to actually put the plan into action made when I got off my bike in Albufeira last July we realised that we have a similar amount of time away before us, a jointly terrifying and exhilaring prospect.
First things first though, my case. A wheeled hold all/backpack, managed to get on my tits wheeling it from Kerry's mum's car to the platform at Exmouth which of course does not bode well.
The train from Exeter to Paddington was notable for my realising that in my haste to get going I'd left my travel hat and sunglasses at home and then for a 90 minute delay due to a lightning strike near London. Sitting stationary for an hour outside Newbury is one thing but to do so whilst listening to a teenage chav uttering drivel to her mates throughout made it almost unbearable.
As we were now so far behind schedule we decided to eat at the Lebanese just off Praed st before heading to Heathrow. The tube to the airport is a bit of a drag, not helped by the posse of Asian kids in our carriage screeching and hollering and then the crazy dude getting on at Hatton Cross with his 4 carrier bags full of rubbish and his lining ripped in his coat so he could get more in there. Whilst he rearranged the trolleys at terminal 3 we caught the hopper to the Ibis where I ceremonially removed the beard that I'd been stubbornly nursing for the past couple of months. For so
E reason shaving goes out ov the window for me when I'm on a mission. Timetable production, cycling to Portugal and moving to Devon all those years ago were or are all presided over by the wild man of Borneo.

We were up at the crack of dawn on Sunday and whilst on the bus to T1 I checked our departure to realise we actually needed T5. This probably gives you some indication of how stressful the pat few weeks have been.
After a hearty fry up we were on board and the 7 hour flight zipped by, there being do much to do on planes these days. I watched "one night in Turin", a cracking docu-film about italia 90 and then listened to some music from the on board iPod thing. So much for doing my USA homework which was the plan.

As we came in to land at Newark we glimpsed skyscrapers and liberty which was really exciting and, having negotiated the rather stern border control guy, we're soon on the sky train bound for Penn station. (no realation Inky)
Penn was incredibly difficult to work out. We were exhausted, hot, tetchy and not really in the mood but, of course, we endured and travelled by subway to canal st, the heart of Chinatown where our gaff is.
You can't see the manhattan of skyscrapers and wonder from here, just filthy and crowded streets more reminiscent of Naples than anything. We wheeled our infernal cases for about a mile and eventually found the mayor hotel, a supposed bargain at $165 per night. The room is adequate but the bed has to be lain on to be believed. The mattress is so thin it feels like you're camping or sleeping on a park bench.

After a quick wash we went out for food and I felt compelled to have a burger and fries so as to immerse myself as quickly as possible into the culture here. I resisted the urge to whoop a "yeeeee-haa" as I ate it though.

Having slept like lambs, despite the bed, Monday, Kerry's birthday, was a fabulous day. The weather was baking and we elected to see the city by bus tour, a bargain 4-route offer of only $49. We took the subway up to 49th having first purchased tickets from the rudest customer facing person I have ever encountered(and when you consider I have worked on BR then that is some statement) and went on the uptown loop, a fascinating 2 hour pootle taking in more sights than you can really digest in one go. Highlight for me I think was the Dakota building, John lennon's former home and where he was shot by Mark Chapman.
Our guide was a 50 something Ukrainian I
ImMigrant with such a heavy accent that unless you worked very hard was difficult to understand, unfortunately a theme of the guides on Gray line bus tours.
We ate lunch in a deli wher the choice was so vast that it's almost headache inducing and then we walked to the awe inspiring times sq for the downtown bus loop. If you know NYC then you'll know what this encompasses. If not then just let me say that it is a gob-smackingly awesome experience through streets you think you know already and passing buildings of such magnitude,beauty and individuality that it is almost criminal if you do not experience it in your lifetime.
We took a breather at battery park at the southen top of the island and walke to ground zero before resuming the tour and ending up back in midtown for our joint birthday meal and cocktails.
This cost an arm and a leg as you might imagine, blowing our budget into smithereens but it won't hit every now and again and I'm sure we'll recover financially once we hit central America.
With the lock on our door broken (ah so, we wait for part, flom china) the receptionist has to accompany us to our room to let us in. As he wasn't there tonight when we wanted to turn in we had to wait for him to return from his meal break by which time I was livid. To compound matters he then sat and started to eAt before realising we wanted to go to our room though he did partly redeem himself by crediting us $20 for inconvenience.

Tuesday, my birthday, was another full on sightseeing extravaganza visiting Brooklyn, staten island and taking the night bus tour over the manhattan bridge for views to die for. This truly is one of the most amazing cities, possibly the most amazing, I've ever had the privilege to visit and to see what I've seen on my birthday, in baking heat, is about as good as it gets.
Highlight of today was probably the two buskers who started playing beautifully melodic guitar music at the ferry terminal. It's that type of impromptu and unexpected event that burns into your brain and makes the travel experience so incredible.

After Monday's spend fest we drew our horns in today and lived so cheaply you wouldn't credit it. We only spent about £80 each and that's for room, food, entertainment, bus tickets to DC for Thursday and deposit on our hostel for Thursday night. Ripper!

Right, that's it for now. The bones of my arse are poking into this bed so I have to move.
Next update within a week.